


First-Time Fumblings

by orphan_account



Category: Captain Underpants: The First Epic Movie (2017)
Genre: Egg Casserole, F/M, First Time, oh boy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-15
Updated: 2018-02-15
Packaged: 2019-03-18 19:08:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13687944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: I mean, it's right in the title buddy. Right there too in the tags. Just roll with me here, alright? Trust me on this one.





	First-Time Fumblings

**Author's Note:**

> Not even gonna lie the slightest- I wanted the full title to be 'First-Time Fumblings done in the Half-Dark' but I figured that wouldn't make a lick of sense until you actually read through it so I chopped it in half.  
> This was asked to be written by a wonderful anon, so thank you anon.  
> (Would you believe this was supposed to be originally just 2,000 words? Neither can I.)  
> Anyway, this was fun. Hope it reaches all you singles this V-day in time ;)

They knew it was going to devolve into this.

The moment she had opened her apartment door it was there, evident in the curling in his stomach, the hunger in her eyes, both of which had nothing to do with the Chinese food that had been on its way. Denial, though, is a wicked thing, capable of making half an hour seemingly stretch into an infinity of crossed legs and a downright refusal to discuss anything more complex than the weather. The suffering seemed to last forever as they sat there, aching in the waiting, the infernal waiting and wanting.  

There is something to be said for waiting, however. It makes the reward all the greater, and, to be fair, they did wait until after the delivery man had left.

Edith held Krupp close, his tie in her tight fist while her other hand trailed up his neck and around the shell of one ear. He could feel his moan in her mouth, her laugh in his chest, and shivered in sheer delight of the contact. With a grin, he ran his hands down her thighs, drawing them up so that they wrapped around him and relished the feeling of her heels pressed into the bottom of his spine. As Edith’s fingers sunk into his shoulders, Krupp pressed a flurry of wet kisses along her neck, across her chest, before settling at her collarbone with a furious desire to refresh the marks he had left there two weeks ago. She sighed, head lolling against the arm of the couch as she canted her hips up and against his, grinning at the telling heat of him and the slow groan she pulled from his throat.  

You could have called it silly. They were two bonafide adults fully clothed and rutting on a beat-up sofa like teenagers, nearly out of their mind with the simple pleasure of being alone together, yet, as with all manifestations of love, it wasn’t silly in the slightest.  

Krupp felt Edith pull his toupee off, kissing the crown of his head, and a wave of adoration passed through him so strong and forceful that his knees buckled. The one closest to the edge of the couch slipped, and with a grunt, he fell completely on top of her. For a second he stiffened, unsure, but then he felt her smile press into his forehead as she wrapped her arms and legs around him tighter still.

“I don’t think the sofa’s gonna be able to handle us this time, Ben.”

He mumbled nothing, arbitrary sounds that had not yet completely formed, and smiled as he felt the vibrations of her laughter against his lips.

“Benny?”

“Mm-hm?”

“Do you want to take this back to my room?”

Propping himself up as best he could, he stared at her, at her flushed face and messed hair, and felt his own blush prickling his skin, “I- what?”

“Do you want-”

“I heard what you said,” he swallowed, brain struggling to catch up, “Just- do you? Do you actually- I mean- I-?”

Edith looked away, working one hand between them to tuck into her bra and pull out-

“Oh.”

She bit her lip, eyes darting between his and the glinting foil wrapping of the condom clutched firmly in her grasp. “So,” she mumbled, teeth parting to let her tongue wet her lips, watching him as he watched her, as his eyes focused in to follow the movement as her voice dipped to a whisper, “If-f you don’t want to, that’s okay, we don’t have to, but...but I do- I do have this, if you want to. If…”

Edith cupped his face in her hands, bringing him back up to where she could kiss him. Feathery light, each movement taunted him forward until they were again locked in passion, moving slow, and the moan that rumbled through his chest shook the hand she laid against it. When they finally parted to breathe, they took a moment, stealing their nerves before he nodded and pulled away. Holding his hand out, he helped her off the couch and let her lead him back to her bedroom.

To say they were terrified would have been an understatement.

Neither one of them were spring chicks, though neither one of them had ever asked about this kind of thing before either. It had just been assumed, and both supposed there was no real reason to be fearful save for the glaring fact that, well… it had been a while.

And this was all very, very painfully new, this thing between them. Not half so fresh as others, they supposed, but a year into a relationship is still only a year, and in the span of all the other years they had had to endure, it could only do so much to lessen the weight of all the false and fearful expectations they had gathered over the rest of their time. Krupp hadn’t even been on a date in the past twenty with five of those spent tripping around the woman currently seducing him, and Edith, with her withdrawn disposition, had never planned on anything greater than the one-sided affections she perpetually found herself embroiled in.

Truth be, outside of sturdy hands and a vivid imagination, they were both sorely out of practice.

But as she kissed him gently again, leading him into the dark room a step at a time, the fear melted away. It wasn’t until their knees bumped against the mattress that they realized how close the precipice was, and yet, though she was shaking, Edith tugged him by his tie again, bringing his face to hers as she slowly sat and began inching her way back across the bed. Without question, he followed her.

They fumbled there in the dark, fighting buttons and zippers, a tangle of eager lips and limbs. As Edith tossed the condom onto the nightstand before reaching to remove her bra, Krupp slowly slid down her body, hands skidding across skin as he planted a row of kisses down the swell of her hips and across her stomach. Edith looked to see him pause just above her navel as he looked up the length of her body to her, watched as his breath seemed to catch in his throat and his eyes went wide, and never in her life had she felt more safe, more wanted, than in that moment.

As soon as Krupp saw her smile, felt her fingers tangle with his atop the comforter, he set to work.

Backing up, Krupp kissed her on her right knee before moving down her left thigh with a flurry of yet still more. He paused there, lips pressed to the juncture of her hip as he scrambled to gather his courage before finally turning to place an open-mouthed kiss against her sex. When he heard her sigh above him, her grip on his hand tightening, he took it as a good sign and kept going. The taste of her on his tongue, the sound of her shallow breathing just above him- he never thought he’d get this far, and he was partially afraid that if he opened his eyes, she would disappear, but as Edith’s fingers ghosted along the back of his head, tips brushing absentmindedly, he kept licking and kissing, nuzzling into her with a manic fervor. He wanted this to feel good. He wanted her to feel good. When she moved one of her legs to drape over his shoulder, he about died of happiness, letting his head rest against the soft skin of her inner thigh.  

Truth be, Edith did enjoy it- it was nice. The problem was, it did not surpass ‘nice’, for no matter how great his enthusiasm for the task at hand may have been, his finesse was less-so.

After a particularly lackluster lick up the whole of her, she couldn’t keep her straight face and broke into a fit of giggles.

“Ben- Ben stop.”

When he looked up, he wore such a look of surprise and confusion that she outright laughed, which only got worse when his brow furrowed and his mouth twisted into that show of agitation she knew too well.

“Come here,” she snickered once she caught her breath, tugging gently at the hand whose fingers were still intertwined with hers. Krupp muttered something- something she didn’t catch, but that didn’t stop her from laughing at him regardless, “We can work on that later, I promise.”

“Ack.”

“Just come here,” Edith muttered against his lips, kissing him lightly as her free hand slipped behind his head and pulled him to her as she gently laid back down. Lying nearly on top of one another, their clasped hands above them, Edith could feel the hot length of him against her skin, and she bit her lip as she gently wrapped the leg not under Krupp around to nestle her calf between his thighs as she rolled her hips. His kiss faltered then, mouth spasming around the whine that broke from his throat, and she found herself laughing at him again until his free hand slipped down and-

Oh.

Oh that was remarkably better.

Though the angle was awkward, Krupp worked with what limited space he had. His thumb pressed against the top of her sex, rounding her clit in circles as he slipped two fingers inside of her. It had been a while since he did this, and it wasn’t quite as intimate as he might have liked, but if her sudden stillness was anything to go by, he was going to hope that this was better. Edith sighed, eyes drifting shut as she buried her face in the crook of his neck and rolled her hips again into that come-hither gesture he had planted firmly between her legs drawing from her the reaction his mouth had failed to do. She heard him catch his breath, body growing taunt again as his hand twitched, jerking forward-

Krupp about saw stars as she cried out, hips rolling into his hand, against his dick. Gritting his teeth, he sank his fingers deeper into her before he changed to scissoring, and when she gave that sound once again, he knew he found what he had been looking for. He changed the movement of his thumb as he kept the motion of his fingers going, knuckles growing sore as he kept the tension, kept going, the noises that she was making into his shoulder growing more intense. Krupp felt more than heard the dry sob she buried into his neck, and he pressed a kiss into the soft space under her ear as he fought the grin on his face, rolling his hips against hers to enjoy the moment of victory just as she flipped them both over.

Edith kissed him then, hard, one hand worming between them to pump his cock while the other blindly slapped against the nightstand as he moaned beneath her, his hands gripping her thighs as he jerked up into her ministrations. When she finally found the condom, she pressed it into Krupp’s hand, whispering into his lips his own name like it was a prayer for him to hurry. Hurry he did, his shaking hands tearing the wrapping, and in the dim light that made its way into the room from the hall, under the hungry eyes of her, he rolled it onto himself. Watching her, watching her watch him, he felt his breath catch in his throat as he took it all in and committed the moment to memory.

They kissed then, tender and slow, before Edith took the length of him into her in one swift motion.

They broke apart, jaws working around open air as their heads spun, a deep groan threatening to break Krupp’s chest wide as Edith’s eyes snapped open while she tried to gasp for air. Catching his face in her hands, she held him there, facing her, until he finally managed to open his eyes.

“Hey,” she whispered.

He licked his lips, breathing deeply, “Hey.”

“You good?”

Krupp sighed, nodding, “You?”

“Yeah.”

“You- you took that...kinda fast. Sure?”

Edith giggled, resting her forehead against his, “Yeah… Just- I’ve been...I’ve been thinking about this. For a while. Little overexcited, I guess.”

“Really?”

She nodded, and Krupp ran his hands up and down her thighs as he shifted to kiss her cheek gently, “Same…” he mumbled, but Edith felt his hesitation as he moved his lips to her ear, the still silence as he paused his breathing to gather the words in his head, “I-I’m so- I know it’s dumb, saying this now. It’s cheesy, but-” he took another deep breath, “But I- I do- I love you, and-... I’m just so glad you know.”

Edith’s heart stuttered in her chest as what he said slowly sunk in. The whole of her seemed to grow warm as she smiled in the dark, her face pressed into his as she said softly into his ear, “I love you too, goober.”

“Ack.”

She giggled and moved to kiss him. Krupp cupped her face with one hand, letting his fingers tangle with the sweaty locks at her neck as he pulled her close. Slowly, very slowly, Edith started to roll her hips, and the grip Krupp had on her thigh immediately tightened even as he let her go so that she could straighten up. Sitting atop him, eyes shut, she focused on the feeling of her hands against his skin, of his dick buried inside her, of the way his mouth had shaped the words of his admission so close to her ear. Soft noises bubbled up from her throat as she canted her hips with an increased sense of desperation. Krupp, his heart beating halfway out of his chest, couldn’t quite figure out to breathe. His head lolled, teeth grit, back arching as he bucked into her in rhythm, trying to hold out. She was so- she was just so much, the whole of her, and she seemed to almost surrounding him. Her hands, her hair, her thighs spread wide to capture him underneath; it was overwhelming. As much as he wanted to finish, he also never wanted this to stop. The moment could have continued forever, both of them caught in a sweaty tangle on the cusp of the end, rolling and tumbling, so embedded into the skin of one another it would be impossible to separate them.

Still, knowing it must, he didn’t want to be the one to go first.

One hand slipped behind Edith, supporting her at the base of her spine as his other hand moved in front of her. His fingers wrapped around the juncture of her outer thigh while his thumb pressed her clit and rolled, and when Edith cried out above him, jerking her hips off rhythm, his face twisted into a wicked grin. He did it again, and again, and Edith loved how her voice betrayed her, loved how there was no rhythm anymore, just a desperate amalgamation of bouncing and grinding, filthy and flawless. She knew he was doing it to get her off quickly, but if the swell and twitching of him was any indicator, he was close to the edge too. Knuckling down, she planted her hands on either side of his head, moving fast and hard with a determination to see him come undone, but just as she started, his hands moved again, sliding across sweat and skin to her ass where he groped her, hard.

She broke, a wail boiling over her lips while her whole body spasmed as if hit by lightning, and Krupp, watching her, the heaven above him rolling and twisting, came right after her.

Together, they rode it out, foreheads pressed together again as slowly, the jerking of their hips evened out, catching their rhythm once more until even that failed them. There, in the semi-darkness, Krupp peppered her face with kisses, hands sliding back to her thighs, up her waist, wrapping around her as he gently helped her topple to the side where he wrapped his arms around her. Edith buried her face into his chest, forgetting in the moment how sweaty he could be until it was too late, and choosing to ignore it in favor of the cuddling as one arm curled into herself while the other she lazily draped across him, letting her fingertips aimlessly brush back and forth across his shoulder blade. After a moment, she shifted, pulling her hips back so as to let him fall out of her with a gentle sigh. Krupp moved the arm not currently pinned under her between them, carefully pulling the condom off and pinching the opening, “Where’s your trashcan again?”

“By the door,” she mumbled, kissing the base of his neck.

“...Fuck.”

Edith broke into a fit of giggles, “Just- throw it in the mug I usually put water in on the nightstand. We’ll get it tomorrow.”

“Are we gonna remember?”

“Well, if we don’t, I have no doubt I will when I wake up in the middle of the night and try to drink out of it.”

Krupp laughed at that, raising himself using the arm currently under her to lengthen his reach so as to drop the condom in the mug, “And if you don’t, I’m sure the dishwasher will suffer through.”

“Oh that’ll be fun.”

He kissed her then, chuckling as he nestled back and wrapped his arm around her once more, “Comfortable?”

“Yeah,” Edith mumbled, nuzzling into his shoulder as she scooted closer, “You?”

“Very...Should I get up and shut the hall light off though?”

She looked up at him just as he looked down at her. They took in each other's faces, sweaty and red, cast in half-shadows and lit by that pale yellow glow of the hall’s single overhead bulb. Shaking her head, Edith smiled, kissing him gently, “Nah...leave it.”


End file.
